It was a trip of extremities, extreme climbing, extreme bedding and it was extremely amazing. I came back to my normal life, feeling so surreal with everything as if I just woke up from my best dream. Or was it my reality that I forgot? It took me around two weeks to find my balance again but closing my eyes, I can clearly recall all those breathtaking moments and beautiful memories…
It was the divine moment when I felt myself emerging in the powerful flow of water. Is it possible to feel so agile by sitting so still? When I watched the sun reluctantly hiding behind the spectacular range of Himalayan, when I silently looked down on a beautiful valley, spread my arms in the blowing wind, it was the feeling of wonder, of utter freedom. I felt alive.
I learned to laugh, to cry, to let go, to heal, to love… I whispered to my tree “will you heal me?” seeing it so wounded and scarred, but layers after layers it heals itself and has grown into a big tree casting a large shadow over me and thousands of other species. I loved it when we gathered around the fire under the sparkling stars and shared our life stories. Eventually, we all have wounds.
When I sent my wishes and intentions to the universes, seeing the paper quickly turn into ashes, I wondered after a long journey already, what was ahead of me. Whatever the universe has for me, I am ready because I know one day I will turn to ashes, I will go back to the ultimate universe.
It took me a long time writing all this down as I struggled to find the right words to articulate my thoughts and emotions. There are moments that are only meant to be felt. Moments like when I ran around a beautiful village, escorted by a group of local kids, laughing and shouting with my broken Hindi. I was once a kid but somehow I had forgotten how to be worry-free like a kid, how to look at things through pure and innocent eyes.
It was really intriguing for me to see the curious look of people wherever we walked by, wondering how they saw me and my companions, the perfect strangers in town. I always see myself as a peculiar traveler, with the angle of an owl, with the yearning to see things as they are, not to judge but to perceive the most genuine souls of all beings. And on this journey to find myself and to heal myself, I feel peace…
I wrote this piece back in 2014 when I was on a retreat for women. It was absolutely amazing to surround myself with strong, powerful women, to share our experiences of being a woman.
It was breathtaking to get lost in a remote village, immerse myself in nature and connect with mother Earth. It was peaceful and healing to be connected to my true self and explore my inner spirit and soul.
It was an awakening and enlightenment that allowed me to look deep into myself and search for who I really am. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that I will never be able to forget.
Today, I am dreaming again of the spectacular Himalayas, the land that has magically transformed me, the mysterious place that I always long to return to.